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Alan Alda | The 3 Rules of 3

Alan Alda | The 3 Rules of Three

We Were Built to Connect with Other People — Here’s How to Be Better At It. Before you follow another “tip” or “trick,” there’s something Alan Alda wants you to know.

His best tip to become a better communicator is what he calls the three rules of three. Listen to his practical hints for becoming a communication pro but, as he remarks, try to get there organically through the process. Alan Alda’s most recent book is If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?

“So the first rule is, I try only to say three important things when I talk to people”.

“The second rule is, if I have a difficult thing to understand, if there’s something I think is not going to be that easy to get, I try to say it in three different ways”.

“And the third tip, which I always forget, is that if I have a difficult thing that’s hard to get, I try to say it three times through the talk”.

—- Alan Alda
Alan Alda
Alan Alda

Alan Alda doesn’t want you to take “pro tips” from anyone-not even Alan Alda. When it comes to his area of expertise public speaking and empathetic communication there are no hacks or shortcuts; if you want to be a world class public speaker, you have to earn those stripes through the process of deeply understanding what it is to talk, listen, and connect.

Alda calls tips intellectual abstractions; it’s akin to the difference between information and knowledge, between parroting a few words in French and speaking the actual language. But, when pushed by yours truly at Big Think, Alda does give up the goods (willingly we promise no Alan Aldas were harmed in the making of this video).

5 min Video

Alan Alda | The 3 Rules of 3

Alan Alda has earned international recognition as an actor, writer and director. In addition to The Aviator, for which he was nominated for an Academy Award, Alda’s films include Crimes and Misdemeanours, Everyone Says I Love You, Flirting With Disaster, Manhattan Murder Mystery, And The Band Played On, Same Time, Next Year and California Suite, as well as The Seduction of Joe Tynan, which he wrote, and The Four Seasons, Sweet Liberty, A New Life and Betsy’s Wedding, all of which he wrote and directed. Recently, his film appearances have included Tower Heist, Wanderlust, and Steven Spielberg’s Bridge of Spies.

Source: https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/alan-alda-we-were-built-to-connect-with-other-people-heres-how-to-be-better-at-it/

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Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa

“None of us have the promise of tomorrow, God forbid this is my last day on this beautiful earth, it won’t be spent listening to some news person telling me how rotten we are, how rotten life is, heck no, I’m going out and seeing how beautiful life is. As humans, our time on this planet is very limited…Turn off, tune out and turn on your life. Peace” — Frank Zappa

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Knock Three Times – Tony Orlando and Dawn

Tony Orlando and Dawn

Tony Orlando and Dawn was a pop trio that in the 1970s that had 15 Top 40 hits, including one of the best-selling singles of all time.

The group had the No. 1 hits “Candida,” “Knock Three Times,” “He Don’t Love You (Like I Love You)” and “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree”. “Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Ole Oak Tree,” released in 1973, is among the 75 best-selling songs of all time, with more than 6 million copies sold.

Knock Three Times – Tony Orlando and Dawn

Lyrics

Hey girl what ya doin' down there
Dancin' alone every night while I live right above you
I can hear your music playin'
I can feel your body swayin'
One floor below me you don't even know me
I love you
Oh my darling
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no
Oh my sweetness
Means you'll meet me in the hallway
Twice on the pipe means you ain't gonna show
If you look out your window tonight
Pull in the string with the note that's attached to my heart
Read how many times I saw you
How in my silence I adored you
Only in my dreams did that wall between us come apart
Oh my darling
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no
Oh my sweetness
Means you'll meet me in the hallway
Twice on the pipe means you ain't gonna show
I can hear your music playin'
I can feel your body swayin'
One floor below me you don't even know me
I love you
Oh my darling
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no
Oh my sweetness
Means you'll meet me in the hallway
Twice on the pipe means you ain't gonna show
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Larry Brown / Larry Russell Brown / Irwin Levine
Knock Three Times lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Spirit Music Group, BMG Rights Management